


Maybe One Day Love

by Rollinginthesheep



Category: One Direction (Band), Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: AU, F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-21 23:02:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/905993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rollinginthesheep/pseuds/Rollinginthesheep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I can't control my feelings<br/>I can't control my thoughts<br/>I'm staring at the ceiling<br/>Wondering how I got so cold<br/>You're completely off limits<br/>For more reasons than just one<br/>But I can't stop<br/>Wonder - Lauren Aquilina</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe One Day Love

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a one shot I've been working on for a while but I couldn't figure out how I wanted to end it. So now I have! It's very AU but it kind of follows the events that actually transpired too....if that makes sense. It takes place in completely Liam's p.o.v

Even as a kid it was always frowned upon to take another child’s toy. It usually resulted in a smack on the wrist from the closest adult, _because stealing is wrong_. If it didn’t belong to you, you shouldn’t touch it, _no matter how much you wanted to_. But I was never really one to obey the rules to a full extent, especially when the toy was _so sparkly_ and _so perfect_ you just had to have it.

I remember the first time I saw her. She was dancing wildly despite the fact she was in a room full of cameras just waiting to catch her doing something stupid. Yet she danced like she was simply another young woman in a bar with all her closest girlfriends. I suppose in some contexts she was. If one could consider a multimillion dollar country pop music star surrounded by all her equally famous friends ‘another young woman’. Her arms waved around and her limbs managed to look somewhat graceful despite the fact she was rather tall and some would call her ‘gangly’.

The moment was perfect, as the music she was dancing to wasn’t simply any song. _It was one of my songs._ Or…well one of One Direction’s songs. Technically a bit of both. And she wasn’t any person, _she was Taylor Swift._

 

—

 

I remember the first time I spoke to her. My hands were shaking at my sides because no matter how many times I went to these award shows I wouldn’t cease to get nervous meeting the people I’d grown up seeing on tv screens or in magazines, even now I was actually one of them. I never really felt like I fitted in that scene. Harry did it so effortlessly, cozing up to the stars like he was born one. He had a magnetism I couldn’t help but envy. Even Louis managed it when he felt like it. But I was Liam, _the puppy_ , the daddy of the group and the one who didn’t get involved with celebrity drama…right?

Taylor was standing there by herself looking around for someone she mustn’t have spotted yet. I hesitated, wondering if I should approach her or let her find whomever she was searching for. Then her eyes landed on mine and I felt my cheeks flush, a heat rising to my features. Her eyes were so much bluer than I was expecting and I was partially reminded of Louis’ but sparkling with a burning curiosity, a thirst for knowledge I hadn’t ever seen in the older boys eyes. A wide grin spread on her face and she began to walk over. She was walking over…to me. _This must be fake._

“Liam right?” She spoke softly and her voice warmed my insides, turning them syrupy. She smelt like flowers, the pretty kind you saw at the florist and you knew you just had to buy for the most worthy girl. _Expensive, beautiful and incredibly delicate flowers._

“Y-yes nice to meet you.” I replied hesitating slightly before speaking. At the after parties I wasn’t really approached that much. I wasn’t well known outside of the group. I didn’t belong in the middle of the stage or under the brightest spotlight. I was just Liam from Wolverhampton, 1/5 of one direction.

“Great performance by the way.” Taylor commented balancing the glass of champagne in her hand. Of course she could drink legally at these shindigs. It was weird to think she was only three years older than me. She carried an aura that made her seem wise beyond her years. I wondered if she had always naturally been like that or her years in a gruelling industry had matured her quicker than most.

“Thank you. I saw you guys dancing. Nice moves.” I smiled and she laughed, her cheeks flushing a cute shade of pink. She went to respond when a voice interjected.

“There you are!” Danielle exclaimed striding over, her heels making a piercing noise against the concrete floor. I winced, having completely forgotten she had headed off to the bathroom in my momentary lapse of conscious thought. Taylor Swift had that effect on people it seemed.

“We were about to send out a search party!” Harry added, coming to a stop on my other side. Taylor’s gaze slid from her curious study of Danielle to look at Harry. Harry looked at her back, a twinkle forming in his gaze. _Uh-oh._

—

 

I remember how the temptation grew with the more I learnt. Knowing you desire something you cannot have makes it that much harder to resist it. When you finally admit to yourself _‘yes I know I shouldn’t but I do’_ , doesn’t make that desire suddenly disappear. Whether you acknowledge it or not, it will still be lingering there in the back of your mind like a poisonous and dangerous temptation that you would be foolish to act upon.

Yet the knowledge that it is a foolish and dangerous daydream doesn’t mean the temptation won’t equal the risk. Nothing safe is really worth the drive to pursue it. Knowing you could lose it all but possible gain the most powerful and life changing possession makes the risk seem worth it.

Danielle and I broke up, having been drifting apart slowly for a long time. It seemed inevitable. The both of us were at busy points in our professional lives and it wasn’t fair on her with the amount of time I was away and the times we were together that my thoughts were plagued with another girl. Of course she was unaware of the latter but I was so damn aware I couldn’t forget it even for even a moment to enjoy what was in front of me. It was an all-consuming infatuation, more powerful than anything I’d ever felt.

No one knew how I felt. Especially not Harry who seemed to be as interested in Taylor as I feared he would be. The two of them spoke often on skype and texted each other and I’m pretty sure he gave her one of his necklaces as it disappeared and was later photographed on her. It created a sinking feeling in my stomach, one that seemed to grow whenever he brought her up. _Because really, who was I to stop him?_ It wasn’t like Taylor was interested in me.

 

—

 

I remember the first time I spoke to her when we were truly alone. One night when Harry was talking to her on skype, he dozed off from a mixture of jet lag and lack of sleep due to our constant working schedules. I could hear her talking through the laptop speakers, trying to wake Harry. I paused in my movements of making a coffee. _Should I?_ Should I talk to her? It was the perfect excuse. Harry was asleep; the others weren’t around, having all wandered off to their own rooms to either sleep soundly or talking to their girlfriends. I didn’t pry to who was doing what.

I glanced around, meeting silence and the occasional snoring noise coming from Harry. _Classy, Harry, real classy_. After a moment’s hesitation and fear Taylor had signed off, I walked over and pried the laptop out of Harry’s snoring range, turning it to face me on the table as I sat down in the booth.

“Hey Taylor, Harry’s…dozed off.” I commented with a grin as her face popped up on the screen. She was nursing her cat and dressed in a pretty vintage spring outfit, not out of her usual style. We were in Europe, recording and promoting our music whilst I knew Taylor was currently in New York promoting her new album.

“I can tell. Does he always snore that loudly?” She asked and I can’t help but chuckle from the cheeky grin that adorned her face.

“Pretty much.” I answered, tapping my nose knowingly and she giggled. “So who is the cute little fur ball on your lap?” I queried trying to keep the conversation going before any awkward lulls began. I didn’t want her to say goodbye and leave, _not yet_. This might be the only chance we got to talk without the filter that was Harry.

“This is Meredith” She motioned to the cat, lifting it up so it was closer to the camera. “Meredith this is my friend Liam, say hello.” She shook the cat’s paw and it made a whining meow noise like I was merely a peasant it had met on the sidewalk. _Wow, what a sassy cat._ It could probably give Louis a run for his money.

“Hello Meredith, nice to meet you! I remember seeing you on twitter!” I said and the cat merely yawned, her jaw widening as she curled closer to Taylor. I couldn’t help but envy it's position.

“Ignore her, she’s pissed off that I didn’t give her my leftover banana bread today.” Taylor explained stroking the cat absently as it dosed off. Fortunately unlike Harry, she didn’t snore. Taylor grinned down at the cat with warm eyes as she watched her pet sleep. “How’s your recording going?” She asked, glancing back up at me.

“Pretty good, the albums going well. I suppose Harry’s told you all about it.” I commented and I try my best not to sound selfishly bitter as I feel. It’s hard not to be more than a little jealous that Harry stole so much of Taylor’s time. Although it wasn’t like we were the best of friends either. None of Taylor’s time was mine to begin with, not really.

“Yes, he has mentioned it. But Harry’s not the only member of One Direction.” She said and I smile at her. Not many people understood how awkward it was balancing the friendship, the band and the knowledge that some of your fans were only in it for certain members, all at once. I hated the idea that some people thought I rode on Harry’s or any of the other’s coattails.

“That’s true I suppose. How’s your new album promotion going?” I asked, wanting to steer the conversation away from the sensitive topic. Taylor’s eyes lit up upon the mention of her new album.

I knew that Taylor was incredibly proud of her new album. She’d told Harry so, and it was obvious from the numerous interviews I’d guiltily watched to on youtube in my free time. I felt even more of a stalker but the pleasure I got from watching her talk was worth the guilty dirty feeling that was following someone via the media.

“It’s going great! The fans are amazing, I’m so glad they’ve accepted my new music.” She responded, her gaze flickering downward modestly. She seemed so unable to claim her own talent I couldn’t help but be shocked. I mean, after all these years she surely couldn’t think it was pure luck that got her where she was?

“Well it’s a pretty darn good album.” I replied and she blushed amber at this compliment.

“You’ve listened to it?” She asked surprise evident in her expression. I nodded.

“Of course I have, I highly doubt many haven’t! Plus, Harry keeps listening to a certain track…” I trailed off, thinking about the debates about which of the songs were written about whom on this album. I knew one of the songs on the deluxe album, _come back, be here_ , seemed to be about Harry (well at least those who were aware of the pairs interactions). At least he was convinced it was. However he hadn’t conjured up the balls to ask Taylor especially considering she had just broken up with Connor Kennedy, the kid that looked oddly like Harry yet was surprisingly taller. How that was even possible I had no idea.

“Oh yeah? Which one?” She questioned, the screen becoming slightly fuzzy as she shifted herself into a more comfortable position. Meredith slunked off her, lap, disappearing off screen.

“The one on your deluxe album, come back, be here.” I relayed and I swore a small smirk spun its way onto her lips at that moment. I took this as a confirmation in itself. I’m not sure if I’m pleased for this information, as it would make Harry happy, or disappointed. It meant Taylor truly thought something more than platonic of Harry.

I tried not to let this variation of emotions show upon my face as she grinned.

“So it is?” I asked her. She turns away from the camera, talking to someone in hushed tones before glancing back at me.

“Sorry Liam, I have an interview now, but lovely catching up! Tell Harry I hope he had sweet dreams!” She grins, before switching off her camera. I find myself feeling whiplash from her sudden disappearance and the mystery she left in her wake, leaving me yearning more.

 

—

 

I remember when I saw her again. It was December and the illuminated lights of the club we occupied in New York City did nothing but enhance her beauty as she sat by herself, seemingly mulling over her thoughts, her eyes glued to the half consumed champagne glass in her hands. It seemed I’d seen and heard of her more in the last few days than I since that night in March when we met.

Taylor and Harry had finally succumbed to their feelings and revealed their relationship in the most public way possible. A stroll in central park with Lux, Tom and Lou had fuelled the heavy speculation that had been floating around since the rumours of Harry turning up to the rehearsal of Taylor’s x-factor performance back in October had surfaced.

Other than the developments in the ‘Haylor’ department, it had been a busy few months for us all. We busied our lives with promotion and travelling, never really staying in one place for too long. It was lonely, despite being surrounded by some of my closest friends. It seemed these days I spent more time in silence, or lying right to the faces of my bandmates. I hated this feeling, the guilt in the pit of my stomach, but I knew I couldn’t tell the others the reasons I was preoccupied. _No,_ they couldn’t know that my feelings for Taylor had only gotten more intense since our last interaction.

I couldn’t spy Harry, glancing around the upper deck of the venue we were in. Earlier we’d been performing karaoke with the others, Ed included. Harry’s mother had promptly whisked him off after a few songs, needing to head to the airport before her flight early next morning. I hadn’t seen either of them since so I figured he wasn’t going to be back for a while.

I’d learnt Taylor is one of those girls who gravitated others to her with a mere smile. She had such confidence, but such sincerity, it was difficult not to like her.

I would know.

So it was a surprise to see her sitting by herself, in the midst of a pretty rowdy after-party. She seemed consumed by her thoughts, none of which were revealed with by the neutral expression upon her angelic features. It appeared Taylor was one to keep her thoughts to herself as well.

“Hey Taylor.” I greeted taking the free seat beside her. She regarded me for a moment, her blue eyes studying me over the rim of her glass.

“Hello Liam, having fun?” She asked, lowering her drink and smiling at me, her moment of deep pondering over.

“As much fun as you can when you remember you have to be up before nine tomorrow.” I answered lightly and she let out a small laugh. However her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes, which remained stormy and troubled. To the unaware observer she was acting fairly pleasant. But the amount of times this girl plagued my mind, made me notice otherwise. Something was troubling her.

“Good point.” She commented with a shrug. A silence fell between us for a moment before I voice my thoughts.

“But you aren't having fun it seems, bundled up alone. What’s wrong? You seem troubled.” I pressed. My burning curiosity out won my need to be respectful of one’s troubled privacy. Taylor seems surprised I noticed, her brows rising. She glanced back down at her drink, lifting the champagne flute to her lips and taking a small sip as she pondered her answer.

“I’m surprised you noticed.” Taylor murmured. She let out a weary sigh before glancing at me once more. “Honestly, you don’t want to hear me complain.”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to help.” I informed her and a small smile graced her lips once more.

“You are a sweet guy.” She responded and I let out a chuckle.

“I try to be.”

We fall into light conversation, and the spark comes back to her eye after she finishes her drink. However, I can’t help but wonder why she avoided answering my question. I knew she owed me nothing but I knew how much keeping silent about a problem could lead to bleeding yourself dry trying not to bother anyone.

I wondered how long Taylor could remain her bubbly self under such pressure. I could already spy slips in her façade, and it was only a matter of time she stumbled and fell.

 

—

I remember when the breakdown came. The fallout had come sooner than I expected. Less than a month later, Harry and Taylor parted ways after a vacation to some island, one of the numerous places Harry trapezed off to in the eye of the paparazzi shit storm that surrounded our lives.

Harry was surprisingly silent on the reasons that the flame which had been burning so bright between him and Taylor, had suddenly extinguished. He hadn't even spoken to Louis about it and Harry usually confided in him about everything. We tried not to press him on the topic, despite all of us wanting to know just like the rest of the world seemed to want to speculate.

Harry didn’t seem as troubled as I thought he would be. He’d been into Taylor for a long time and it seemed a little strange he was taking their break up with such a cool demeanour. It made us all uneasy. When Harry acted like this, you knew he was defending himself from something, hiding away, a bubbling volcano close to eruption.

I knew with Harry and Taylor no longer dancing around each other, I wouldn’t speak to the girl again anytime soon. It was selfishly the worst thing to come out of the situation. I missed hearing Harry talk about her, slipping a little antidote she had told him into a story he was telling. As much as I had been jealous of Harry being with Taylor, I also had appreciated the connection it had given me to her.

I felt like I was withering away with my indecision. Part of me wanted to fix things for Harry, bring the smile back to his face, the one that had been missing since everything happened. Another side of me, the more indulgent side, wanted to take this opportunity and find a way to contact Taylor with some mundane reason, just to hear her voice again.

I was a sick minded person. _Why was I even considering backstabbing my best friend?_

However, it wasn’t like Harry had banned us from talking to her, or told us not to.

But I kept silent, merely pretending to move on like the others did.

Like we always seemed to do.

Forever travelling, on the move, promoting something new.

I couldn’t help but feel my mind slowly turning to mush, out of the utter lack of desire I had to do my daily tasks.

The loneliness that came along with the isolation and being stuck with my ever present thoughts that were slowly eating away at me.

 

—

 

“Harry come on, just sit down.” Louis soothed, trying to pull our curly haired friend back down onto the leather couch he’d just jumped up from. Harry wasn’t complying, instead pacing back and forth, with heavy sounding footsteps.

It was safe to say that Harry was more than a little drunk. To numb whatever he had obviously been repressing the last two months, he’d begun drinking more and more, partying to late hours and somehow managing to make it through tour rehearsals with minor hangovers. Despite my lack of fondness to alcoholic beverages, I couldn’t help but admire his stamina.

Tonight however was a different story.

Zayn wasn’t around, having gone to see Perrie who was touring at the moment. I could understand this; I knew what it was like trying to balance a relationship between travelling and promotion. It had to be ten times worse for Perrie and Zayn, both of them being in different bands, yet somehow they managed it. I envied their devotion, no matter what the trashy magazines claimed of their relationship.

Niall had dragged Harry in, obviously trying to keep him upright. Shortly after arriving he disappeared again, having promised his mother he’d head on a plane to Mullingar to see her before we launched our next tour. So Louis and I were left with a drunken Harry. We’d been hanging out and watching movies when Niall and Harry had arrived. Now the movie continued to run, forgotten, as we tried to calm our younger friend.

“Come on Haz, just sit down and tell us what’s wrong.” Louis attempted to sooth, obviously already tired of Harry’s behaviour. Despite being a rowdy person himself, Louis sucked at trying to be patient with others. No, that was my speciality. But even my fuse was running short with Harry tonight.

“I can’t.” Harry shot back, frustrated as he ran his hands through his mattered locks.

“Why not?” I asked, curiously. This was obviously something Harry was attempting to repress. His expression was agitated and he couldn’t stand still.

“Because.” He replied back shortly, as though this should settle the matter. Instead it merely raised further questions. For almost three years now we’d been a close-knit group. Yet lately Harry had been withdrawing away, as though he didn’t trust us anymore. It hurt but I could vaguely understand. If he knew half the things that went on in my mind he’d probably bash me over the head with a cricket bat.

Louis sighed putting his head between his hands, obviously completely over the situation unfurling before him. I decided to let Harry pace it out, hoping he’d tire and either pass out on the couch or go to bed.

But it was no such use. Half an hour later, Louis bid goodnight and good luck, turning in after citing he’d gotten up far too early this morning to deal with Harry’s nonsense. So I was stuck on the couch, watching a movie I couldn’t even keep up with anymore and making sure Harry didn’t burn a hole in the carpet.

Suddenly Harry came to a halt, his green eyes troubled. I glanced at him, my arm around the back of the couch as I watched him stand there silently for a moment.

“You alright man?” I asked my tone hesitant. Harry glanced at me and I was surprised by the utter loathing his stare held.

“You.” He spat, not even elaborating as he stumbled past and headed toward Louis’ kitchen. I followed him at a slower pace. When I entered, Harry was shuffling through cabinets, trying to find something. “You complete, utter, asshole.” He added in a lower volume, but his tone was just as harsh. I couldn’t help but flinch at the intensity of his tone.

“Harry, mate, what are you on about?” I asked, genuinely confused. I’d never seen Harry get so worked up, especially not at something I’d supposedly done. I didn’t know what to do. I mean I had no idea what I’d done to upset him in the first place, especially not to the degree that he was now rambling through the kitchen like a madman.

“Just piss off!” He snarled in response and I put my hands up in surrender as he once again brushed past me.

I stood in silence as I heard him rambling down the hall toward Louis’ room. All I could do was wonder when things had gotten this bad.

But deep down, _I really did know_.

How?

The truth followed me everywhere I was, present in my toxic thoughts.

 

—

I remember when I saw her again. Having been booked to attend both the NJR and Brits awards with the other lads, large measures were put in place to ensure that Harry and Taylor and us guys by extension, didn’t cross paths even backstage. It was painful in my case, but I rather Harry be happy then have a chance to actually be around Taylor.

In the end though, fate seemed to play in my favour. As we all rushed around backstage and I headed off to find a drink of water, I caught a glimpse of those beautiful blonde locks in the corner of my eye and I turned to see Taylor only a few feet away. She looked as radiant as ever and I couldn’t help but stop and stare at her. I felt my throat become dry and my hands clam up. I was frozen. I had no idea what to do. It was like my mind had become nothing but fuzz and all that kept me pinned to this earth was keeping her in my vision.

Then she looked at me.

 _And oh god,_ I felt my knees go weak all over again, just like almost a year before when we first met.

“Liam.” She said simply, my name sounding like heaven upon her lips.

I merely stared, incapable of speech.

“Liam?” She asked, a little more hesitantly this time, raising a hand up to wave in front of my eyes, hoping to gain my focus.

Little did she know I couldn’t focus on anything but her.

“Tay-Taylor.” I breathed and I immediately wanted to bolt, lock myself in a bathroom cubicle and smash my head against the wall until I regained all sense. With Harry or not with Harry, I shouldn’t feel these feelings for her.

No. It was wrong.

“I haven’t seen you in ages.” She responded a warm smile brightening up her angelic features. The smile sent a shiver down my spine.

Really, this woman was a drug to me.

A very dangerous and very addictive drug.

“Yeah.” I replied unsure of what else to say. I mean it wasn’t as though I could say, _‘I know, there hasn’t been a day I haven’t thought that very same thing, lamenting that fact.’_

“Liam, mate I found a vending machine over-oh…Taylor…” Harry’s voice carried from over Taylor’s shoulder and I glanced over to see Harry standing there, balancing two five random bottles of drinks in his arms. He looked forlorn as his green orbs took in his ex-girlfriend’s form and I saw his shoulders drop. I knew he’d been loathing this moment, wanting to avoid the very person that stood before me.

“….Harry.” She glanced over at him, an unreadable expression replacing the smile she’d been wearing a moment before. “Hi…” She managed her voice ever so soft. She looked as upset as Harry was and I couldn’t help but feel like I was imposing on a private moment. My heart sunk.

No…Harry and Taylor definitely weren’t dealing with the whole break up as well as they liked to think they were. I managed a cough, hoping to inform the duo that they weren’t in an empty room but in fact in a very busy and very narrow passageway where cameras could catch them at any given moment.

My sound seemed to bring Harry back to earth and he brushed off his momentary breakdown. He glanced over to me with a more straight lipped expression.

“You coming?” He asked simply, and I nodded before brushing past Taylor. It took everything in me not to shiver at the perfume that wafted from her form. As we walked away, I spared a final glance back at her and found her staring right back, her blue eyes troubled.

 

—

 

I remembered when some form of closure finally came. I had no idea where I was going, but I knew I had to get out of there after watching Harry watching Taylor as she walked out onto stage to present an award. The way his gaze never left her form and the unshed emotion that clouded his eyes, it suffocated me and reminded me of all the reasons that the woman that now stood at the podium and smiling out to the audience would never be mine.

I felt like I was falling apart. I wanted to forget it all. I wanted to be that dorky teenager who had never sung on a stage with an audience of more than eighty people. I wanted to be the guy who was utterly devoted to Danielle, never straying. I wanted to be that guy that the world wanted me to be.

But instead here I was, sitting in an abandoned passageway with my head in my hands and my back against the wall crushed by a realization that was ever so conscious in my racing mind.

It wasn’t merely an infatuation.

I don’t think it ever was.

That first moment, the look in her eye, the way she smiled and the way she captivated the world around her. The way she dreamed of a fairytale many had long abandoned.

_No._

It wasn’t merely an infatuation.

_I loved her._

I loved her so much, it hurt me. I loved her so much that every time I shut my eyes, she was there, ever present with that smile on her beautiful face. A smile I wished only belonged to me.

But that smile never would belong to me.

It would belong to Harry… _maybe even Ed._

But it never would be mine.

_No._

Taylor Swift never belonged to me and she never would.

And it hurt so much.

Because the man I was, tainted by this unattainable love, was nothing but a shadow of the wide eyed teenager who had first met Taylor a year before. He loved Danielle, he knew what he wanted out of life. He chose this life.

I merely came along and fucked it up for him.

_I’m sorry._

“Liam?” A voice sounded and I glanced up to see Harry standing a few feet away, an unreadable expression adorning his features. “Mate, are you alright?” He asked slowly and I glanced away.

 _No Harry…I’m not alright._ I haven’t been for a while.

“It’s her isn’t it?” Harry asked and I glanced back at him my eyes wide. “It’s Taylor.” He affirmed, seemingly taking my reaction as a confirmation of his theory.

“H-how?” I managed, my heart freezing. Why wasn’t Harry pissed? I mean if I found out one of the lads was in love with Danielle I probably would have bashed them over the head. Well…once upon a time I would have. Now? I have no idea what I would do.

But I probably wouldn’t just stand there staring at him like Harry was.

Staring like he knew all along.

“I’ve known for a while. Since…since before we… _er_ … got together.” Harry said taking a few steps forward and sinking down beside me. He didn’t look at me, merely staring ahead at the white brick wall and stretching his long, slender legs out.

“You did?” I asked, unable to look away from my mates features, waiting for him to lash out and yell at me, punch me, do something.

“It’s difficult not to see how you would. I mean she’s fucking perfect. I would know.” He laughed bitterly at his own words, like everything was a huge hilarious joke. In some twisted mind it probably was.

“Why didn’t you say so?” I wondered, still reeling from Harry’s revelation. Harry shrugged, his hands slipping into the pockets of his suit pants, a heavy sigh escaping his lips.

“I dunno…I just…I guess I thought if I confronted you about it, I wouldn’t get my chance with her. I know…it sounds stupid now I say it.” Harry mumbled, kicking out his foot against the wall. I glanced away from him, watching his movements.

“It doesn’t sound stupid…I guess I would have done the same thing. Bros before hoes and all.” I found myself saying. It was true. Probably in Harry’s position I wouldn’t have spoken of it, not wanting to screw up the thing I had in front of me.

“The guilt kind of gnawed away at me. I mean I saw how you looked at her, how your eyes lit up when she was around. It fucked with me. Because I mean…I wanted to be with Taylor…but I want you to be happy too, man. I mean there are a thousand amazing girls and despite the fact I probably won’t find one like her…I rather have one that wouldn’t screw over my relationship with my best friend. You are my brother you know that right?” Harry explained and when I glanced back to meet his eyes, I found them trained on mine. I couldn’t help but smile at him.

“You are truly a selfless and honorable guy, Harry. I don’t think I would have managed to do the same.” I admitted, my eyes lowering on this admittance. I don’t think if I had ever gotten Taylor for my own I would have had the selfless ability to let her go so it didn’t hurt my best friend.

Harry shook his head defiantly.

“Nah…you would have. Especially if it was one of us guys.” Harry contested, with a firm tone. It seemed he had thought this over before. I didn’t respond, glancing back at the wall opposite us, training my brown eyes on the cracks that filtered up between the white paint coated on the bricks.

A pondering silence fell between us and I found my mind settling for the first time in a while. It was as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulders and from my heart. Yes, I still had these infuriating feelings for Taylor, but the knowledge that it wouldn’t destroy my friendship with Harry was the closest thing I’d had to true content in a while. I would never get to be with Taylor, but to not have to hide my feelings from one of the most important people in my life was a comfort in itself.

“She doesn’t know.” Harry revealed, piercing the silence that had fallen between us. I glanced at him.

“So…why did you break up? I mean…what did you tell her?” I asked, somewhat surprised that Harry hadn’t told Taylor. It was yet another honourable action on his behalf.

“I told her that at this point in our lives, I couldn’t see us lasting. I mean we travel pretty much all the time, barely seeing each other when we tour. It wouldn’t work out in the long run, you wanting her or not. Maybe one day…down the line when all of this blows over…or you find someone else or something…maybe we’ll give it another try.” Harry said and he fumbled his way through the explanation, as though he had no idea of what the future held.

“I mean…maybe in a couple of years I’ll marry some girl and you’ll see Taylor at the wedding and fall all over again and have cute little musically talented children. Or maybe you’ll fall for someone and when Taylor and I are older we’ll catch up at some award show and get back together. I want to give both of us the fair chance. Let fate do what it does best. I mean it brought us five together, it seems to know what it is doing.” Harry affirmed after a pregnant pause, his tone somewhat contemplative.

“Wow, man, that was deep.” I couldn’t help but respond, somewhat teasingly. Harry grinned, his dimples cutting into his cheek and a low chuckle escaped his lips.

“Yeah, it’s the grog at these fancy shows.” He shrugged after shoving me playfully. We both resumed our laughter.

“OI YOU TWO!” Louis exclaimed and we both jumped at the sound of his voice, staring up at our bandmate who was watching us with a bemused expression, Niall flanking him. “We are meant to be getting ready for our performance you tossers, not giggling like fucking school girls!” He ranted, but it was obvious despite his commanding tone that he was merely teasing us.

“Where’s Zayn?” Harry asked, realizing one of us was missing.

“With Perrie.” Niall replied and we all shuddered at the mental image of the pair. Zayn had been making non-stop pervy comments about his girlfriend’s dress all evening. Award shows made him horny for reasons that I definitely didn’t want to contemplate any further.

I got up, shoving myself away from the wall and offering a hand to Harry who accepted it gratefully.

The four of us began to walk toward backstage, Zayn jogging to catch up to us a moment later and I glanced at Harry who strode beside me as we chatted aimlessly.

He was right. Fate had a way of taking us to where we had to be. Whether it be a future that entailed me finding my fairytale ending with Taylor, or one where I finally dissolved these feelings and found another who invoked them inside of me.

Either way the road went, I couldn’t think of a better fate than one that had these four boys in it.


End file.
